College Decisions Start Here: Where Do You Thrive?

Would you rather be a big fish in a small pond, or a small fish in a vast ocean?

It’s a simple but important question, one that shapes careers, education choices, and even long-term happiness. 

This metaphor captures a core truth about us all: where do we thrive? Are we most motivated when we’re among the best in a group, or when we’re surrounded by people who are even better and push us to grow?

Many parents I have counselled assume that admission to the most competitive, prestigious universities is the ultimate goal. They push for top scores and relentless coaching, believing that a famous name equals success. But not every student flourishes in an ultra-competitive environment.

A young boy once topped his condo swimming class with ease, until a relocation placed him among faster peers. Suddenly, what had been a source of pride became a source of frustration, and he quit.

On the other hand, another student dominated his school chess club and grew bored. At an elite academy, he lost three games in the first few moves. Instead of giving up, he doubled his practice and devoured chess books. Each loss sharpened his skill and fuelled his drive.

Neither approach is “right” or “wrong.” It simply reveals different ways people respond to challenging situations.

Unlike a hobby you can quit, the college you choose shapes years of your life. At Oxbridge, IITs, or other elite institutions, even brilliant students can feel like they have plunged to the bottom of the class. That realisation can dampen confidence, limit leadership opportunities, and turn ambitious minds into mere survivors. 

One of my students chose a respected, but less competitive university. There, she consistently ranked in the top 10 per cent, led projects, and launched her own initiatives. The environment gave her room to stand out and grow.

Before embarking on your college search journey, look back at your life’s turning points:

1. How have you handled competition, setbacks, or failure? 

2. When did you last surprise yourself by thriving under pressure?

3. What surroundings bring out your best? 

Do you flourish as a big fish in a small pond, enjoying the confidence of being near the top with less effort?

OR

Do you thrive as a small fish in a big pond, energised by stronger peers and constant challenge?

Reflecting on these questions will ensure that you or your child truly thrives and not just survives in university. SetSail Education Consulting works with students and families to match ambition with environment, guiding them toward universities where they can truly belong. Reach out when you’re ready to start that conversation.